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The ugly sister effect explains so many things when it comes to the memory blocks we all face.
True, the scientists who came up with the term probably regret it now.
After all, it can sound a bit insensitive if you don’t know why they chose the term or what memory problem goes with it.
Unfortunately, there’s no brief and direct way to describe this effect, which is why I’ve written up a complete explanation on this page.
I believe it’s worth a read, especially if you want to either speak more fluidly or become a memory athlete. I’m sure glad I knew about this problem and had handled it when lecturing at university and giving my TEDx Talk.
So, are you ready for a deep dive into how to remove memory blocks and stop competing thoughts from messing you up while speaking?
Let’s dive in!
What Is The Ugly Sister Effect?
The Ugly Sister Effect gets its name from the Cinderella fairy tale. In many versions of the story, every time Prince Charming tries to get hold of Cinderella for a smooching session (and perhaps a little more), her ugly sisters crowd in front of her.
Not very cool of those ugly sisters, is it?
Well, when you’re trying to remember something, competing thoughts sometimes crowd into your mind. It’s like many other memories are competing for attention – like the ugly sisters in Cindarella.
Some people use a different name for this effect: tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. However, I don’t believe that’s quite correct.
Here’s how the authors of Mnemonology: Mnemonics for the 21st Century put it:
The retrieval of target information can be blocked by the related information—a situation referred to as an “ugly sister effect.”
This definition is the key: the memory blocks occur due to the relatedness of the information.
In other words, ugly sisters or unwanted information come to mind when you’re trying to remember a specific piece of information.
It’s not at all the case that the right answer is really on the tip of your tongue (unless you’re experiencing what scientists call a “mind pop“). It’s that many other answers are competing for your attention.
I experience this sometimes when searching for the name of an actor or musician. All kinds of people come to mind, just not the one I want.
How To Handle The Ugly Sister Effect
The first thing is to realize that experiencing this effect is perfectly normal. You could certainly get checked out by a doctor to rule out any issues, but chances are you’ll experience it many times in your life.
To the best of my knowledge, the effect was named by Reason and Lucas in a 1984 contribution related to journaling. The named it in an essay called “Using cognitive diaries to investigate naturally occurring memory blocks.” You can find it in a book called Everyday memory errors, actions, and absentmindedness.
When it comes to a method for dealing with it, here are some steps I recommend that you follow.
One: Don’t Make A Big Deal Out Of It
When I get blocked, I immediately relax.
I’ve found that by turning my attention to my breath and physical state, it helps the memory I’m searching for arise on its own.
A simple technique you can try comes from the world of concentration meditation. Put your thumb and forefinger together as you breath and bring your awareness to your entire body from your head to toes.
Two: Run The Alphabet
More often than not, changing the focus to your body for a few seconds, will pop the information into your mind.
When that doesn’t work, I start by reciting the alphabet from A-Z.
Although this technique is not bullet-proof, I’d say it works about 50% of the time.
The problem is that, unlike turning your attention away from seeking the target information, in this case, you’re chasing after it.
But if you’ve relaxed yourself first and aren’t needy, you’ll probably be okay.
In case you’re wondering why running through the alphabet makes sense scientifically, it’s because you’re trying to find and trigger context-dependent cues. If the word or name you’re looking for starts with C, there’s a good chance that thinking of this letter will help you remember the information.
Three: Avoid Re-Using Memory Palaces
Sometimes mnemonists bring problems like the Ugly Sister Effect onto themselves.
For example, they don’t know about my detailed training on How to Find Memory Palaces.
The problem is that reusing Memory Palaces creates what some memory champions call “ghosting.” I prefer to call it “Magnetic fossilization,” but the point remains the same. You run into Ugly Sisters that compete with the information you’re trying to recall because the ground has been laid for them to do so.
Don’t get me wrong. It is possible to re-use any Memory Palace. Especially when you use the tips covered in this video:
My point is simply that you can eliminate the issue altogether by simply not reusing Memory Palaces.
Four: Use Memory Strategies From Day One
Although nothing is perfect, you can recall information much more fluidly if you memorize it optimally in the first place.
Take my TEDx Talk, for example. Sure, I made a few errors, but the way I memorized the speech was solid from the get-go.
I also use a lot of:
And many other strategies to keep my memory well-exercised. The important point here is to use not only a variety of techniques. But to use them consistently.
Five: Clean Up Your Memories
In some versions of the Cinderella story, the heroine gets down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor.
We can take a cue from that image to help keep our memories straight.
The same way you can use your imagination to create Memory Palaces based on real or imagined locations, you can imagine yourself with Pine-Sol or Mr. Clean and a mop. See yourself doing the work of getting your Memory Palaces fresh and clean for new uses.
Likewise, you can figuratively clean old memories by engaging in childhood memory exercises and all kinds of other brain games.
Six: Practice Your Memory Seriously
My colleague in memory, Scott Young, says that your mind is not like a muscle.
But as a student of deliberate practice, I disagree on that point.
Even the best memory athlete in the world still needs to practice. Even Harry Kahne, the multiple mentalist practiced frequently.
There’s no turnkey, set-and-forget engine that keeps running once you learn and use memory techniques as part of your daily life.
No. What you’re doing is learning to play your memory like a musical instrument.
If you’d like help practicing your memory in the best possible way, get my free course:
It gives you four video tutorials and three PDF worksheets.
The more you work with the techniques, the better you’ll be at avoiding memory blocks.
Rest assured, everything I teach has been validated in the memory science.
And now that you know what the Ugly Sister Effect is, you’re in a position to avoid it.
As a result, you’ll remember many more things correctly and enjoy greater professionalism and confidence as a result.
Now that’s what I call a win-win!
26 Responses
I just tried getting my ghosts to help and it works. Finally i have a way to re use favorite journeys without finding i bought last weeks groceries again.
Glad to hear this episode helped you out! 🙂
Great read — thanks! Some fine tips in here. Usually I just let go of the thought and have it come back to me when it’s ready.
Thanks for this, Steven. One thing I think happens to us is that we feel that the time we spend looking for the lost thought takes longer than it really does. So it’s good to just move on as you do. 🙂
Hi thanks a lot. It’s useful. But I want to know which is the best way whether to reuse a few palaces or to build hundreds of palaces.
Great question, Sritharan. I appreciate it very much and would like to know more about what you’re memorizing.
This is because a lot depends on the kind of information you want to memorize and your personal experimentation.
For example, if it’s foreign language learning, then I would not recommend using the same Memory Palaces over and over again unless you’re advanced. And even then.
That said, some people have great success using the same Memory Palaces several times for memorizing vocabulary from different languages. This works when the language is sufficiently different enough. For example, French and Spanish, or Spanish or Italian would be difficult, due to similarities. But Spanish and Russian would not create the Ugly Sister Effect and in fact you could use the images for one set of vocabulary to assist greatly with the other.
As for hundreds of Memory Palaces, depending on how you organize the information, this may or may not be necessary. Many people tend to “overmemorize,” when in reality, by focusing on memorizing key points of information, your memory will fill in a lot of the blanks where you haven’t memorized particular information. But when you’ve got too much stuff going on, you can wind up having a negative effect.
Hope this helps and I look forward to hearing more about your memory project. 🙂
Hi
Thanks for the reply. It’s really useful. I am a surgical PG trainee. Need to prepare for different type of assessment; both written and orals. Have to remember a vast variety of informations but should be decoded instantly. I’m using mind mapping. Still I’m trying to introduce memory palaces to my system. Hope it’ll enhance my memory.
It takes only a short while to get really good at Memory Palaces if you follow some fundamental principles. Feel free to poke around here and take my free memory course you can register up at the top of the page for guidance on how to create well-functioning Memory Palaces that will serve you for life. 🙂
Hi
Thanks for ur instant replies with concern. Watched the video answering a medical student from a hotel room …late night. It’s very useful and was answering many of my questions too. I’m working on its interesting. I’ve a question. What’s is ur opinion on creating visuals to remember more than 1 point to be placed on one location. Say for instance create a visual to represent 5 points of an essay introducing to place on my studying table.
Great question!
You can experiment with compounding a number of images together in order to memorize multiple points.
Or, perhaps more effectively, you can turn your desk into a 5-station Memory Palace. For example, you can use all 4 corners and the center. I would actually start at the center and them move diagonally to one of the corners and then move around clockwise or counter-clockwise so you can cleanly consider the journey to a bookshelf or some other feature in the room.
Give it a try and please let us know how you do! 🙂
Hi Anthony Metivier,
I recently finished reading “Moonwalking with Einstein” and I’m working on “A Sheep Fell Out of The Tree” exercises. I’m a big fan of your podcast and blog and I really like your textbook method. Right now I’m trying to memorize at least 3 points per chapter of “War and Peace” and there are 363 chapters. What kind of memory palace would I have to build that would include 1,089 loci and would be able to accommodate all of the different settings, characters, and plot elements?
Thanks for your great question, Brandon!
The answer to your question would be to come up with multiple Memory Palaces based on a number you’re comfortable with. I would probably go for a 10x10x10 model: 10 Memory Palaces with 10 stations per room with 10 rooms per Memory Palace.
Uni Saarland where I once taught would be perfect for me because I can easily rattle off 10 buildings and start creating the Memory Palaces.
Do you have something similar in your past, or could you visit a library or university campus? If not, check out How To Find Memory Palaces if you haven’t already gone through that episode.
In the meantime, thanks for being a podcast listener. I appreciate it and look forward to your next question and a progress update! 🙂
Thank you so much for the info! I was going to respond earlier, but I decided to do some more reading on memory palaces and other memory techniques. I decided that since I am a beginner at mnemonics, I should do simpler tasks to build up strength for memorizing “War and Peace.” I think that until then, I will simply use the recall technique that Barbara Oakley mentioned for reading. I will continue to find new memory palaces and email you my first drawn out memory palace.
Thanks for the follow-up, Brandon. Did you catch the recent interview with Barbara Oakley I put out?
When you come back to War and Peace, let me know. I’d love to hear about how you’ve evolved on your journey with memory techniques. 🙂
Great info and warnings. Very useful, Anthony. I recently decided to give “modifiers” a try on my 10×10 home memory palace for learning German. So, I turn these 100 stations into 2,600 stations using a 26-alphabet-modifier journey as a backbone to both learn and remember the modifiers in order without having to think. I wanted to test and see how prevalent the ugly sister effect was for me, and overall, I’m able to kill that issue if I set up the process well ― using many of your suggestions from multiple podcasts. (For anyone not familiar, each modifier completely changes the environment (sounds, smells, action, lighting, etc) as you move through and re-use your palace.)
Some things I learned along the way that set this up for success:
1. Set up a separate, dedicated 26-station memory palace for the sole use of creating and remembering the palace modifiers. In order (and from memory), mine are: aurora, banjo, cave, dahlias, earthquake, fog, forest, lava, lavender, lightning, mosquitoes, mud, piano, prairie, sand, seaweed, smoke, snow, milky way, violin, waves, wind
2. Don’t start using modifiers until they are 100% rock-solid memorized
3. Each station memory *must* make use of the modifier ― even in some very small subtle way
4. Test and learn how to use the modifiers over a 3-4 day period with review to see how it works for you and what adjustments need to be made
5. Use modifiers that you have past history/experience with from a spatial/event perspective ― this gives you a lot of creative fodder for quickly associating the memory with some aspect of the modifier
Overall, I’m finding the memories stick as good as any IF I follow the above process. Simply recalling the particular modifier to be used (example: “Aurora” for German words that start with “A”) turns on the lights for that particular journey and nothing else comes through.
Interesting and valuable insights, John – thanks for sharing them!
Do you have modifiers for r, t, x, y, z, etc. as well?
In any case, this falls quite in line with the MMM Telesynoptic Memory Palace technique and there are many historical precedents. How deep have you gone into a single Memory Palace from aurora to wind?
Great pointer about having these modifiers align with something you’re deeply familiar with. Back during my university days, I spent a lot of time in Aurora, Ontario and am thinking now about another variation on this approach … it’s not fully formed, but once it bubbles through, I’ll report on it.
In the meantime, thanks for this contribution. Hoping once we’re more settled in here in Oz that we can hop on a call and record a podcast episode to give voice to your many great ideas for using memory techniques. Things are going more slowly than I was hoping, but we’re getting there! 🙂
I typed too fast! I missed a few… complete list is: aurora, banjo, cave, coffee, dahlias, earthquake, flames, fog, forest, lava, lavender, lightning, moonlight, mosquitoes, moss, mud, piano, prairie, sand, seaweed, smoke, snow, stars, violin, waves, wind.
This particular palace is kind of a “swiss army knife” for me. I spent a weekend a week ago getting this down and rock-solid in memory. I’m doing other things with each peg I didn’t mention, such as the major method and an alphabetical adjective for each peg to help me with other kinds of lists. I sorted the above modifiers in alpha just to help me initially remember, but not needed now.
Here’s how I see and use each peg in this journey (from memory… let’s see how i do!). I’ve created one complete image with action in my mind tying all these things together which I can use for several things:
1. Absurd Tie, Aurora
2. Baffled Noah, Banjoes
3. Catchy Meow, Cave
4. Deluxe Rye, Coffee
5. Edible Law, Dahlias
6. Flashy Shoe, Earthquake
7. Gaunt Cow, Flames
8. Hardy Ivy, Fog
9. Idling Bee, Forest
10. Jeweled Toes, Lava
11. Korean Tot, Lavender
12. Lonely Dune, Lightning
13. Marxist Dime, Moonlight
14. Nonstick Door, Mosquitoes
15. Offended Doll, Moss
16. Peppery Dish, Mud
17. Quacking Duck, Piano
18. Resting Dove, Prairie
19. Stupid Dope, Sand
20. Tribal Nose, Seaweed
21. Upraised Net, Smoke
22. Vatican Nun, Snow
23. Wayward Nemo, Stars
24. Xrayed Nero, Violin
25. Yellow Nail, Waves
26. Zambian Notch, Wind
So, far, I’ve only stored 30 German words through six days of use, but I’m not having issues with recall after reviewing 2 times (same day, next day). I, of course, will want to use your suggestions to review the day’s corresponding letters and add others as I move through each month. On to January 7: “G”! 🙂 Interestingly, the more complex the German word, the easier it is for me to store and remember them.
Would love to have a call sometime. Enjoy that sun down under!
Lovely to see the whole list – thanks for posting it!
Interesting to see some of the elements of the Major Method in here. It’s one of those things that should be so obvious, but isn’t visible until you point it out.
Really brilliant choices too and always interesting to see what people use. I never would have thought of “Notch” in a million years – I use John Nash. Nero and Nemo are all amazing too … have you looked at paintings of them for reference, invented a look for them or just gone with them on a conceptual basis?
I ask because a lot of people ask about aphantasia, and I’m gathering data and preparing a post now about just how unnecessary it is to actually “see” things in your mind so long as the concept is visual. So for example, one mistake I’ve sometimes made is to use the concept of God, which is too vague because it’s not visual enough. But when I make it Michelangelo’s God from the Sistine Chapel, I don’t have to “see” it like HD TV, but making it specific suddenly makes it “real” and gives it way more “pop” in the Memory Palace I’m using and the stream of associative-imagery.
Thanks again and look forward to further discussion! 🙂
I’m only into this a few months, but I’m with you on the aphantasia idea. At first, I thought the memories would fade because, try as I might, I couldn’t get a really clear image of them in my head… only a ghost or a subtle idea. But, that’s proved to be enough.
So, no, I don’t try and find images or paintings to shore up pictures in my head but rely on the myriad connections surrounding the object my brain already has stored to maintain the association. I also don’t worry now if I really can’t “see” it but rely on the fact my brain can readily access it after a review or two.
I think also, this makes a case for using the first one or two ideas that come to mind when coming up with an association, as I think it’s likely a good indication the brain has enough stored info surrounding the idea.
Also, interestingly, it is amazing to see how eventually (I’d say after 10-20 reviews) that your brain begins to jump past the associative image and goes right the data… I guess that’s the point! 😉
Great follow-up!
Yes, it’s amazing what happens when we persist with these techniques. I also often have the experience of the brain “jumping” past the associative-imagery directly to the concept.
I hear from some people who find that disheartening, especially since at beginning stages it can take a bit more time and effort to create the images. However, I always think that wanting to preserve the mnemonic imagery is kind of like wanting eggshells in your omelet. Eggshells truly are beautiful things to behold, but totally unnecessary once you’ve got the yolk and egg white on the griddle.
Not the perfect metaphor, but memory techniques truly are strange in the sense that you want to forget what you used to remember information so that you are left only with the information.
Then again … it’s not so weird. Much amazing metal work destroys the mold as a matter of course …
Hi!
I´m not sure if I completely understand the way how you use these modifiers to extend the capacity of your memory palace.
Are you storing different things in the same locations inside your palace and differentiate them with the according modifier? So, for example, for “B” words all the markers (potentially up to 100) include either a phisical Banjo or Banjo music, etc. while, in the very same locations, you store “G” words with Flames around, or burning or something like that?
Thank you for your insights!
Thanks for your question, David. It is kind of a difficult concept to wrap one’s mind around, and I haven’t tried exactly what John is describing. Hopefully he’ll see your post and expand on it for you.
The closest thing I’ve done to this is the Magnetic Memory Method Telesynoptic Memory Palace technique. This allows you to add features to Memory Palaces so you can re-use them simultaneously without disruption between them. In other words, Memory Palace 1 of a particular Memory Palace system is just as I remember it and have strategized its path along the Magnetic Stations.
Memory Palace 2, however, is the same Memory Palace but with an added feature. Memory Palace 3 is again the same Memory Palace, but with the feature of Memory Palace 3 switched out for yet another.
Colors is a strong contender for this, meaning that:
Memory Palace V1 is normal
Memory Palace V2 is black
Memory Palace V3 is blue
Memory Palace V4 is green
Memory Palace V5 is red
Memory Palace V6 is yellow
There’s a reason those colors appear in that order: alphabetization makes it easier to remember what comes next in the sequence.
Once you have this operating method set up, then you memorize information. It helps your mind avoid “ghosting” or the Ugly Sister Effect because whatever you’ve placed on Magnetic Station 6 of Memory Palace V5 Red is not and cannot be the same item as Magnetic Station 6 of Memory Palace V4 Green.
That said, if you’re storing information that is too similar, these definitive features will not necessarily create the managerial distinction you’re looking for.
You also need a more practice with this technique than is often warranted in many respects. In the full Masterclass I teach people how to take the Telesynoptic Memory Palace technique to some exponential extremes that most of us won’t have enough time in our lives to use. But they are useful to practice with in order to really push your memory and just thinking through and taking action is powerful and transformative.
There’s a lot you can do and conceive of doing, but the important thing is to take action with the simplest stuff first. Get results and then challenge yourself to go further with techniques like these. We only grow when we stretch. 🙂
Hi
Thanks a lot for this, it has been really helpful.
I just kinda want to clarify also; what your talking about with the telesynoptic method is like putting the memory palace in different “states” or forms, kind of like your colour example I’ve been using a flame state on top of the normal palace to learn Bangla words, and could go on to use ice or water or earth or electric etc. (I’m glad to have some more ideas for these using colours). Right?
Is what John is discussing is doing this for each station, by using the alphabet associations, going through the alphabet at each station then continuing through the palace? And you could do the same thing with playing cards deck at each station. Opposed to going through the entire palace with each station as normal then through the same palace in a different state.
Is that kind of the distinction that’s going on??
Thanks!
Thanks for stopping by to comment, Alastair!
Yes, you seem to understand the technique well. “States” is a good way of putting it. Others use the term “adding features.”
For me, the key is always in organizing the order by which to proceed through the “variations” of the same Memory Palace (yet another way of terming this Magnetic activity).
I’ll leave it for John to speak for himself, but yes, you could have 52 variations of every single station while having 52 variations of every single Memory Palace. And you can add even more exponentiality by having the cards themselves represented by different colored decks.
But let’s be clear that there’s a huge difference between activity and accomplishment. I spent a lot of time – and had some very good times! – playing around with adding what I came to call “Telesynoptic” features to Memory Palaces. And it’s truly amazing what the mind can manage.
But at the end of the day, in my experience, none of this beats a fresh Memory Palace dedicated to one purpose that you use in combination with Recall Rehearsal and The Big Five in order to get it into long term memory.
Because the truth is that we do need Recall Rehearsal in order to get the information into long term memory, and if you use Magnetic Memory Method Recall Rehearsal, there are specific patterns that would take far too long to complete effectively if your Memory Palace is 52×52 elements deep (or more).
My own experience and experience with oodles of dedicated students is that you’re better off using SCREE and small sets of information on the basis of a carefully described learning plan than you are out on the frontiers of memory.
But once you’re happy with some real accomplishments, than rock on with the Telesynoptic stuff because it’s a great mental workout just thinking about it. And you can beef up incredibly by exploring it.
By the way, I came up with the “Telesynoptic” term because I was using it to memorize all of the Psalms in just 15 Memory Palaces. “Synoptic” means several things that share a common view or treat a similar subject, i.e. The Gospels. “Tele” is meant to indicate “telescope,” as in extending a lens outward. Put the two together and you have a Memory Palace that can be extended in multiple directions along the time-space-color-texture-dimension continuum and reuse the Memory Palace potentially all the way to infinity.
The cool thing that John has done is to link all this up with the Major Method and a concrete manner of instantly identifying individual stations. Often (though far from always), when you can limit the arbitrariness that so many memory techniques rely upon (such as PAO), you really give your brain a break. It releases so much cognitive load when there’s at least some reason why the images you use are the images you use – ergo why John’s use of the Major Method here is absolutely stunning.
Hope this clears things up for you and hope to hear back with a report of all the fun you’ll be having playing around with this technique! 🙂
“Are you storing different things in the same locations inside your palace and differentiate them with the according modifier? So, for example, for “B” words all the markers (potentially up to 100) include either a phisical Banjo or Banjo music, etc. while, in the very same locations, you store “G” words with Flames around, or burning or something like that?”
Correct. So, I’m turning 100-location MP at my home into 2,600.
In terms of “how”, I look at it as more of a complete environment change. For “Aurora”, I’m using my life in Alaska as a guide to turning the whole 100-station journey into using Auroras and related elements. For “Banjo”, I use kind of a black-and-white “Mayberry” environment, etc etc.
Awesome extension! Thanks for taking a moment to answer!
And wow – Alaska! I’ve been super-close, but haven’t had a chance to visit so far. I’ll bet there are Memory Palaces galore to be created. And come to think of my times up north (almost two years in Prince George, B.C. … and all of B.C. for 20+ years), there are certain mountain ranges distinct enough to serve as mini 3-5 station Memory Palaces. 🙂